Loving the Unlovable


I had a rough day yesterday.  The day started out on the wrong foot, I think I was too focused on me and not focused enough on important things, like others...

First, I was completely dismissed in a conversation that I had a valid opinion in, however, the other people involved didn't think so.  I HATE when that happens.

Then... I had a conversation with a subcontractor of mine which didn't go so well.  I indicated that they needed to meet their contractual obligations and they, for some reason, didn't agree.  It's NEVER fun to have to make a choice to cancel a contract.  I had to do it yesterday.

After I did my due diligence of cancelling the contract I received a VERY nasty email from this beloved subcontractor; here's a snippet:

"Erik, you think because you say it should happen that way we have not rights to dispute or comment on it. You have a hot temper and think that you can just cram something down subs throat and they have no recourse... I would hope that all the PM's at (Y&C) are not as hot headed and unreasonable as you have been. Ethics is the foundation of the business if you make choices live with them , if you miss something you should not try to lay it on others, except your responsibilities."

This is a direct copy and paste from the email.  *sigh*

Now... this made me think about a few things:

1.  Am I being hot headed and unreasonable?

2.  Did I do something which anyone would consider unethical?

While considering these things (the answer is no), I came across some things about myself:

1.  I am unlovable.  Don't take this the wrong way, this is a healthy view.  Let me explain.  I'm human, I make mistakes that I'm embarrassed about, I say things I shouldn't say, I make decisions based on selfish motives, I'd be embarrassed if you knew some of the things I think in my head.  However, I have a God who Loves the Unlovable.  He DEEPLY cares for me and loves me beyond this flesh.

2.  I don't love the unlovable (most of the time).  I have a hard time separating people form their real person who God loves unconditionally, and their flesh that does things to hurt myself and others.

Thank you subcontractor, who shed a light where there hasn't been light in a while.  Jesus' coming as the light of the world and the reminder of that is not lost on me today.

How about you? How do you love the unlovable?