Loving the Unlovable
I had a rough day yesterday. The day started out on the wrong foot, I think I was too focused on me and not focused enough on important things, like others...
First, I was completely dismissed in a conversation that I had a valid opinion in, however, the other people involved didn't think so. I HATE when that happens.
Then... I had a conversation with a subcontractor of mine which didn't go so well. I indicated that they needed to meet their contractual obligations and they, for some reason, didn't agree. It's NEVER fun to have to make a choice to cancel a contract. I had to do it yesterday.
After I did my due diligence of cancelling the contract I received a VERY nasty email from this beloved subcontractor; here's a snippet:
"Erik, you think because you say it should happen that way we have not rights to dispute or comment on it. You have a hot temper and think that you can just cram something down subs throat and they have no recourse... I would hope that all the PM's at (Y&C) are not as hot headed and unreasonable as you have been. Ethics is the foundation of the business if you make choices live with them , if you miss something you should not try to lay it on others, except your responsibilities."
This is a direct copy and paste from the email. *sigh*
Now... this made me think about a few things:
1. Am I being hot headed and unreasonable?
2. Did I do something which anyone would consider unethical?
While considering these things (the answer is no), I came across some things about myself:
1. I am unlovable. Don't take this the wrong way, this is a healthy view. Let me explain. I'm human, I make mistakes that I'm embarrassed about, I say things I shouldn't say, I make decisions based on selfish motives, I'd be embarrassed if you knew some of the things I think in my head. However, I have a God who Loves the Unlovable. He DEEPLY cares for me and loves me beyond this flesh.
2. I don't love the unlovable (most of the time). I have a hard time separating people form their real person who God loves unconditionally, and their flesh that does things to hurt myself and others.
Thank you subcontractor, who shed a light where there hasn't been light in a while. Jesus' coming as the light of the world and the reminder of that is not lost on me today.
How about you? How do you love the unlovable?